BREAKING: Trump Forced to Drain $14 Million Reflecting Pool in Embarrassing Algae Disaster
President Trump’s freshly renovated Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool has become the most expensive science experiment in Washington, and the internet is not letting it go. The $14 million makeover, originally pitched as a beautification project ahead of America’s 250th anniversary, has instead produced glowing green algae blooms, peeling blue paint at the bottom of the pool, and a wave of confused tourists snapping photos of what one visitor called “pretty gross.”
Things got even more dramatic when a three-time Olympic canoeist named David Hearn says he was arrested simply for touching a loose flap of material at the bottom of the pool to check it out. Hearn, who has a background in material science, insists he did not damage anything. He is due in court next month.
Rather than acknowledge the obvious, Trump claimed without evidence that vandals were behind the mess and that the pool will need to be drained for repairs. Meanwhile, federal workers have been spotted dumping bottles of hydrogen peroxide into the water in an attempt to fight the algae, and Democratic Senator Jeff Merkley says he is demanding answers about the eye-popping cost overrun.
Out on the National Mall, one protester showed up with a banner reading “Algae” and led chants of “Algae’s smarter than MAGA.” Sometimes the internet writes its own punchlines, and this is one of them.