DON’T PLAY WITH THE ANCESTORS, MR. MAYOR: TRADITIONAL HEALERS WARN CITY HALL
Traditional Health Practitioners Association boss Dr. Rodwell Vongo has sent a polite but terrifying memo to Lusaka Mayor Chitambala Mwewa: Tread carefully, bwana, because Wi-Fi signals aren’t the only invisible forces in this city.
This comes after videos surfaced of Mayor Mwewa walking around Lusaka tearing down traditional healer flyers like a strict high school principal. While Dr. Vongo admitted he appreciates a clean city, he gently reminded the Mayor that pulling down a banner is physical, but the guy who put it up might operate on a completely different, un-Googleable plane of existence.
“Spiritual matters are complex,” Dr. Vongo basically warned. “You’re fighting physical flyers, but you might end up arguing with your own shadow at 3:00 AM if you aren’t careful.”
In the same breath, Dr. Vongo made sure to clear the association’s name regarding fake doctors offering “overnight wealth” through ridiculous means, urging the public to avoid fake witch doctors and stick to registered healers.
The association says it’s ready to help City Hall catch the scammers, just as long as the Mayor stops acting like he’s immune to juju.