CHABINGA CLAIMS ASSASSINATION PLOT — DRAMA HEADING TO CHAINAMA?
The FOX Newspaper
In the latest episode of “PF: The Political Spin-Offs”, Honourable Robert Chabinga — Mafinga MP, PF self-declared savior, and now part-time prophet — claims there’s a plot to assassinate him. The reason? Apparently, he’s too powerful to be ignored. Even though the Registrar of Societies seems to be doing just that.
Chabinga alleges that the Miles Sampa–Edgar Lungu reconciliation camp is behind the threats. And just in case Plan A doesn’t work, he says they’ll go for his Secretary-General Morgan Ng’ona — which is bold, because most people only found out Morgan existed today.
He says shocking revelations are coming. Zambia yawns.
Let’s fact-check the scene:
• Chabinga is currently facing contempt of court charges for pretending to be PF president when the courts said, “Sir… please sit down.”
• Miles Sampa is the only name officially recognized at the Registrar as PF president.
• Chabinga endorsed President Hichilema not long ago, which is like supporting Manchester United while wearing a Power Dynamos jersey and calling it “strategy.”
Yet he insists he’s the real PF commander. The rest? “Illegal,” he says. Even though he himself wasn’t elected through any national PF convention, or neighborhood football team, for that matter.
Now back to the assassination claim.
Dear Honourable Chabinga, let us be clear:
Zambians are not planning to kill you.
At worst, they’re planning to mute your Facebook Lives and scroll past your recycled press briefings with impunity.
In fact, sir, we recommend a warm plate of nshima with chibwabwa and some rest. Maybe with a little village kapenta on the side. Not everything is an assassination attempt — sometimes it’s just indigestion and panic from your own press conference.
Also, your threat report is still “pending” — meaning even the police are waiting for the plot to finish loading.
And before we forget, your remarks to former President Lungu — suggesting he should focus on his relatives’ court cases — felt less like political advice and more like cheap drama lines from a WhatsApp skit. And yet, you are the one being summoned to court.
You claim to be PF’s last hope. But from what we’re seeing, you’re more like a pop-up ad Zambians can’t close.
This is a work of satire based on publicly available facts and political commentary.
CHABINGA CLAIMS ASSASSINATION PLOT — DRAMA HEADING TO CHAINAMA?
